A Fire in the Forest

Goddess Kali (from exoticindiaart.com)

Scotland's burning,
Scotland's burning,
Look out,
Look out,
Fire! Fire!
Fire! Fire!
Pour on water,
Pour on water!  Anonymous

She is beautiful and powerful like the Goddess Kali. Yet Mother Nature does not always play fair - sometimes she really lets go and reminds us of her natural processes in no uncertain terms. The last three days a fire has played havoc in the pine forests around Conifer, Colorado, and the wind has been an active character, keeping the fire hot and blazing, and grounding the planes that drop fire-retardant.

Fire has been a part of the Earth’s ecosystem forever; it plays a role in improving soil nutrients, increasing diversity and adjusting habitat structure. Fire and the West go hand in hand; droughts do occur and lightning does strike.  Smokey the Bear was a bit misinformed when he spread the word that fire should be suppressed at all costs. It is akin to the idea that humans could control a tsunami – a bit impossible to hold back an ocean wave of that force. Even with the best intentions, humans cannot always control  Mother Nature.

Many plants in the North American prairie and Western coniferous forests actually require fire to germinate their seeds; it is part of their life cycle. The seeds of the Lodgepole pine (Pinus contorta) need fire to melt the resin that envelopes them in order to be able to germinate. Ponderosa Pine (Pinus ponderosa) has adapted to fire in the ecosystem by naturally shedding its lower branches, thereby keeping its green canopy of live needles higher up the trunk – this adaptation enables the Ponderosa pine to survive a low intensity or ground fire. Fire will clean up a forest floor. It eliminates the buildup of litter (dead wood and brush) and opens up patches in the forest to additional sunlight, thereby enabling more herbaceous plants to take hold. Over time this increases the biodiversity. In a perfect world without human intervention this was the case:

Most ponderosa pine and mixed-conifer forests of the Intermountain West were open and park-like, with large, majestic trees underlain by dense grass swards. These low- and mid-elevation forests were shaped by millennia of recurrent forest fire, which helped maintain the forests' ecological integrity by reducing tree densities, controlling forest pests, and releasing a steady supply of nutrients into the soil (ONRC)

Photo from the news of the fire in Conifer fanned by winds

Suppression of fire in the ecosystem allows the forest to become too thick and dense – too many trees take hold in very close proximity to one another - - in addition,  there is unchecked accumulation of highly inflammable woody debris. When a fire does occur in this situation of thick understory fuel and densely packed trees - a hot raging fire is the result. Add in windy conditions, the recent warm dry spell, and human settlement and you have a terrible situation.

To control the event of high fuel, hot raging fire, forest management organizations such as Colorado State Forest Service, the USDA Forest Service, and Department of Interior organizations (BLM, BIA, NPS and Department F&W) perform “controlled or prescribed burns” to keep the fuel load in a forested region in check. In addition to the thinning of the tree stands.  This is wise ecological management but difficult to monitor to perfection. In the Conifer fire, many homes have been destroyed (900 people have been evacuated) and several people have died, possibly due to a prescribed burn mixed with the extremely warm dry weather. As a result, blame and shame will result and fire suppression will again be the local policy. The result of fire suppression will be a buildup of fuel and wood debris in the forest. And what happens when the next fire starts due to no human fault or management – but by lightning perhaps?  What do we do when Mother Nature just doesn’t play fair? How can we keep humans and their homes safe in an ecosystem that has a high rate of fire occurrence?

In closing, I want to applaud and bless the fire fighters who put their lives on the line to help the community combat the blaze. Thank you so much!

Smoke along the foothills - photo from the news.

References
http://www.umac.org/ocp/videos/fireDependentEcosystems.html
http://www.esa.org/education_diversity/pdfDocs/fireecology.pdf
http://www.conservationgateway.org/topic/fire-landscapes
http://www.oregonwild.org/oregon_forests/fire-and-forest-recovery/oregon-wild-s-fire-policy-statement/
http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Crews-focus-on-containment-lines-around-Colo-fire-3436197.php#photo-2745314
http://www.9news.com/dontmiss/259326/630/Firefighters-flock-to-help-fight-blaze
http://kwgn.com/2012/03/27/official-prescribed-burn-likely-to-blame-investigation-under-way/

Spring Solstice and Some Haiku

Balance between light and dark and eco-compost to aid the garden beds

It is official – yesterday in the cycles of the stars and planets, the orbit of our earth dancing around the sun - we have experienced the Spring Equinox. The sun is now turning back from its stay at the Southern Hemisphere and is moving north –  incrementally each day. At the equinox there is a balance point between the hours of sunlight and darkness.  It is a special time of year to reflect on balance in our own lives, our relationships, and the good old gray area we need to embrace. There are gobs of gray area between the extremes of light and dark.

Spring in the Northern Hemisphere puts one on notice that plants will be coming to life again.  Gardens will soon be planted with vegetables and flowers, blossoms on fruiting trees will open, whimsical narcissus and tulips will sprout for our attention, and the dormancy of winter will soon be a mere memory.  The other news is there is much work to be done to bring the garden to fruition; thank goodness the days are becoming longer. Creating a garden has taught me a little patience; it just doesn't happen quickly. There are various steps involved - building the soil, planting seeds and starts, watering, weeding, fertilizing, and much watching and waiting. Watching for growth and waiting for harvest. Months will pass.

A large load of eco-compost has been deposited in my driveway (thank you, Pioneer Sand Company, Inc.) to embellish and built the garden beds. The soil will create a strong foundation in our tiny urban homestead. Soil is the root chakra of the garden; it is the base and the beginning. The soil must be luscious – full of organic matter, chocolate brown, light and airy.  Wheelbarrow loads of this mixture are making their way to the back yard awaiting the next stages of this gardening process.

Working to improve the garden beds

To honor the day a little Haiku (say Hi Koo), a Japanese form of poetry for you. Written in the common method of 17 “on” (sound beats) in three lines of  5, 7, 5 on. Written by Bumble and me!

to be a garden
soil must deeply nurture
to bring green alive

we produce produce
to enjoy only after
tedious toil

tomatoes come
to those of us who in spring
bust sod and tote dirt

beautiful yard
begins to emerge in front
of our sore souls

Can One Make a Difference?

Can one person really make a difference? Can one person change the course of events or the environment?  Do these changes occur due to timing, fate, coincidence or the honorable action of one person who is the catalyst for an altered world?  I remember reading the book The Man Who Planted Trees by Jean Giono and becoming hopeful. Any student of the world who would like to understand reforestation, ecosystems, and climate alterations would relish reading this simple short story.  This book is a mere 39 pages, which include 20 masterful woodcut illustrations by Michael McCurdy.  It is a quick yet deep study about a character who made a difference by planting trees in his local earth. If one lingers over the message (maybe for as long  as it takes an acorn to become a seedling), it becomes apparent that this is a story where time is an important character itself; there is no short term satisfaction to be found here but rather a slow and satisfying evolution. A chain reaction occurring because of one man’s work.

The main character, a shepherd named Elzeard Bouffier, decides to plant one hundred acorns a day in a desolate land - long deforested and gone to waste. He admits in the story that he had planted 100,000 acorns so far, in which 20,000 sprouted, and 10,000 of those would probably not make it.  Indeed, the other 10,000 would live on - along with thousands of others he would eventually plant. The man planted because he felt the earth was “dying for want of trees.”

The narrator, who befriends the man while hiking the dry barren region, witnesses his commitment to this job, which is done alone and without pay; he is duly impressed.  After spending a day with the shepherd, he leaves to continue in his journey and eventually serves in WWI; the shepherd and his tree planting fades from his memory.  After a decade, the narrator finally returns to the area to hike and is amazed at the 10 year old oaks - tall and thriving. He also finds other species of trees (beeches) growing in the valleys that were planted by the old man.  Water is running in the once-dry cracked creek beds now lined with willows. The harsh winds that once ravaged the hills are softened into breezes by the lush vegetation.  Since the water is flowing again and the trees are sheltering the winds, humans are making a life for themselves in this region.  It is a magnificent tale and timely with today’s global environmental issues.

Spring has come to Colorado – it is time to think about planting. Maybe an organic vegetable and butterfly garden and a few trees that will share their fruit or shade. A bit of work spent preparing the ground now for vegetable starts that will be planted in May and give back tenfold when they are harvested. The trees will grow and give back in later years. I am off to the back yard to be part of slow but satisfying process of working the earth. I am hopeful I can make a difference.



Work Cited
Giono, Jean. The Man Who Planted Trees. Chelsea, VT: Chelsea Green Publishing, 1985. Print.

Women's History Month and Skiing High in the Rocky Mountains

Imagine this. It is crisp and cold yet the sun is out, and you are enveloped in a quiet world of deep snow - a white substance that softens the interface between you and nature.  It is a mythical land similar to Narnia. Occasionally the sun glistens off the snow, and you swear it is made of billions of tiny diamonds - a girl's best friend. This white blanket covers the hills like thick cream cheese frosting coats a carrot cake. It is delicious looking.

Now imagine this - you are sliding down these frosted hills just like you did on your wooden sled as a child. Down, down you fall, gaining speed as gravity grabs you, the wind kissing your face. But instead of a wooden sled underneath you, there are long wooden boards attached to your feet and they allow you to be upright and magically float on top of the snow. The feeling of standing up and falling is exhilarating but also terrifying. 

At the start, you greet the mountain facing downhill but you begin to gain speed and it is unsettling. You work to find your center in this journey – every time you lean back, you go frighteningly faster. You try to find a more forward posture, trusting the boards more. With great aplomb, you bend your knees, turning the boards perpendicular to the fall line of the hill. That one simple solution breaks your speed almost in half, and you are no longer afraid but acquiring control. Then, you repeat the movement turning in the other direction -  fearlessly snaking turns. The only thing that matters is the free falling, the turning, and the present moment. This, my friends, is downhill snow skiing.

It has taken far too long to write a post about snow skiing. This is surprising because it is one of my favorite things to do – not to mention skiing and snowboarding are Colorado’s official winter sports.  Colorado boasts such fine specimens of the Rocky Mountains, proudly offering 58 fourteeners or 14ers* – mountain peaks that exceed 14,000 ft. high.  It is no wonder that snow fall is plentiful and powdery around those peaks, and winter sports are a massive part of the Colorado culture.

I love skiing – both Alpine and Nordic.  I was lucky to have lived in the Vail Valley for six years back in 1980s. Living in close proximity to great groomed ski trails, I was able to get to the chair lift within 15-20 minutes and thereby easily accumulate mileage on the slopes of Vail and Beaver Creek during the winter season. In the first year I was awfully green – or just plain awful; I had old used equipment and fell down far too often. Luckily, the deep powdery snow softened the blow to my butt and my ego. Sometimes I laughed and sometimes I was embarrassed.

A great friend, Chuck, taught me how to use the physics and technology of skis, relax my muscles, read the mountain, and pick a perfect fall line. One day it all clicked. I found my balance point - my center. Not too far back or too far forward, not too much to the right or to the left - but just "right" over the balls of your feet and your skis. It was very Goldilocks-like. I find it fascinating that horseback riding, ballet, yoga, and skiing all share the lesson of being perfectly centered and balanced to be successful. So, yeah, I have heard this before too, but it’s true: skiing is a metaphor for life. One must achieve balance or fall down, and success is simply getting up one more time after you fall.

March is Women’s History Month and also features St. Patrick’s Day (honoring the luck of the Irish), and the Spring Equinox (the perfect balance between sunlight and dark)! In keeping with my love of skiing along with honoring the ladies, luck, and the equinox, here is my list of female alpine skiing legends – the top seven (7) great women skiers in the world (along with a few honorable mentions). You go, girls - you are my heroes of the winter wonderland!

 MyTop 7 Greatest Female Skiers

1. Janica Kosteli - Croatia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janica_Kosteli%C4%87
2. Vreni Schneider - Switzerland http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vreni_Schneider
3. Anja Pärson - Swedish-Sami http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anja_P%C3%A4rson
4. Annemarie Moser-Pröll - Austria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annemarie_Moser-Pr%C3%B6ll
5. Picabo Street - USA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street
6. Lindsey Vonn - USA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindsey_Vonn
7. Julia Mancuso - USA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Mancuso

Honorable Mentions

Gretchen Fraser
Andrea Mead Lawrence
Suzy Chaffee
Kim Reichhelm

If you have a chilling desire to experience this downhill skiing thing in Colorado, I have listed all the ski resorts and their websites below. There are 28 at present and a dozen of them are listed as the greatest ski resorts in North America. One monetary issue – I cannot tell a lie – alpine or downhill skiing is exorbitantly expensive. Often a single day pass (lift ticket) runs just shy of $100, and lessons (I highly recommend them) can cost well over that. Many resorts will offer money-saving packages that include lessons, lift tickets, hotel, and ski equipment rentals (if you do not own your own).  One must save for the experience and shop for specials. Nordic skiing is less expensive, and I will share those resorts and experiences in a latter post.

List of Colorado Alpine Ski Resorts (and their websites)
    Arapahoe Basin http://www.arapahoebasin.com/ABasin/mountain/explore-the-mountain/default.aspx
    Aspen Highlands (Aspen) http://www.aspensnowmass.com/onmountain/statsfacts/statsfacts.cfm?area=Aspen%20Highlands
    Aspen Mountain (Aspen) http://www.aspensnowmass.com/onmountain/statsfacts/statsfacts.cfm?area=Aspen%20Mountain
    Beaver Creek http://www.beavercreek.com/
    Breckenridge http://www.breckenridge.com/
    Buttermilk (Aspen) http://www.aspensnowmass.com/onmountain/statsfacts/statsfacts.cfm?area=Buttermilk
    Copper Mountain http://www.coppercolorado.com/winter/index.html
    Crested Butte http://www.skicb.com/cbmr/index.aspx
    Durango Mountain Resort (formerly Purgatory) http://durangomountainresort.com/
    Echo Mountain http://www.echomt.com/
    Eldora http://www.eldora.com/
    Hesperus Ski Area http://www.ski-hesperus.com/
    Howelsen Hill http://steamboatsprings.net/departments/parks_recreation/facilities/howelsen_hill_ski_area
    Kendall Mountain http://www.skikendall.com/
    Keystone  http://www.keystoneresort.com/
    Loveland http://www.skiloveland.com/
    Monarch Mountain http://skimonarch.com/
    Powderhorn http://www.powderhorn.com/
    Silverton Mountain http://www.silvertonmountain.com/page/home
    Ski Cooper http://www.skicooper.com/
    Snowmass (Aspen) http://www.aspensnowmass.com/onmountain/statsfacts/statsfacts.cfm?area=Snowmass
    SolVista Basin (formerly Silver Creek) http://www.granbyranch.com/ski
    Steamboat http://www.steamboat.com/
    Sunlight http://www.sunlightmtn.com/
    Telluride http://tellurideskiresort.com/TellSki/info/the-mountain.aspx
    Vail http://www.vail.com/
    Winter Park/Mary Jane http://www.winterparkresort.com/
    Wolf Creek http://www.wolfcreekski.com/

And to leave you with a great ski quote: "Gravity is love and every turn is a leap of faith."

Note: *Actually there are 53 ranked 14ers and 5 unranked 14ers. 

References

http://www.fourteeners.org/by_elev.htm
http://www.14ers.org/
http://www.denverpost.com/quillen/ci_18664848
http://www.coloradoski.com/
http://skicentral.com/colorado.html
http://www.colorado.com/SkiAreas.aspx
http://www.360dwellings.com/top-50-colorado-ski-resorts-best-season-pass-lift-ticket-deals/
http://womenshistorymonth.gov/
http://www.nwhm.org/
http://sports.yahoo.com/ski/news?slug=ycn-7770286
http://www.fisalpine.com/legends.html
http://www.rankopedia.com/Best-Alpine-Skier-Ever-%28Women%29/Step1/1303/.htm

http://www.quotegarden.com/skiing.html

 
Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFEElBWCesk
Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riz7zlNRSDU&feature=player_embedded

Losses

Photo courtesy Google Images (The Grief Recovery Kit)

Life can be a series of losses. It seems to be one takeaway after another. After the first few heart-wrenching losses, you think you would get used to it – you might simply expect it – looking upward for the other shoe to drop. Which is probably why I eat fast, I want to devour quickly before the food suddenly evaporates off my plate. The truth is losses are difficult.

There are so many kinds of losses. One’s body experiences losses. The smooth plump skin of childhood succumbs to the ravages of growing up, such as scars, hormones or aging. The joints, muscles, bones, and connective tissue start to deteriorate and fail us. Some people may have a really good run at it and for some deterioration begins rather quickly. The sponge-like brain of our youth, adept at gathering information, starts to sputter a bit as we age. We file information in places we cannot readily access in our cerebrum. There are moments – ever increasing – of answers lurking somewhere on the tip of the tongue but for all our sputtering, they do not come forth.

There are losses of people. They come into our lives and enjoy the love or whatever it is they need, and then become enthralled with something else, some other glittery object of desire, and leave a cloud of dust behind in their haste and a few pebbles in your eye, along with unanswered questions. Children grow up and leave home – needing to learn about their personal life path. Some people that you have loved walk away and leave easily – as if you never made an impression in their heart. Or perhaps you made a good impression but are simply no longer needed. Some humans die and you can never get them back. It is awfully hard to understand the comings and goings of humans. I, too, have had to leave people and places behind and not always for some glittery thing but because of changes, other obligations, new goals, or extenuating circumstances.

Powder (May 8, 2005 to February 22, 2012)

There are losses of pets - animals that have graced our lives and love us unconditionally. Last week I lost a dear friend.  I keep looking for him around every corner and my ears seek hearing his loud meow. Powder was a cat, a little lion, a funny, smart, demanding friend, and an alarm clock of incredible accuracy. He was a loving, noisy, bossy animal of such enormous character; it feels like empty air without him around. His life was snuffed out a bit too soon. I sit with this grief and give it a wide berth, allowing it to travel in and out of my consciousness.

This grieving process is an introspective time for me and a good book feels like the right activity now. Below are some notable books/stories surrounding the subject of animals and pets that are no longer with us.  The first list is compiled of books published recently in the new millennium, and the following list is devoted to well-loved and cherished animal books from the previous century.  Many of the books are wildly popular and have made the transition from printed words into cinematography and have found a new life in film.

Great Books for Coping with the Loss of a Beloved Pet - published in the new millennium (click on the title for a link to Amazon to read the reviews)

Animals and the Afterlife: True Stories of Our Best Friends' Journey Beyond Death by Kim Sheridan. Hay House, 2006.

Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet by Moira Anderson Allen. Dog Ear Publishing, 2007.

Cherished: 21 Writers on Animals They Have Loved and Lost. Edited by Barbara Abercrombie. New World Library, 2011.

Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World by Vicki Myron. Grand Central Publishing, 2008.

The Legacy of Beezer and Boomer: Lessons on Living and Dying from My Canine Brothers by Doug Koktavy. B Brothers Press, 2010.

Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand. Ballantine Books, 2002.

The Eighty-Dollar Champion: Snowman, the Horse That Inspired a Nation by Elizabeth Letts. Ballantine Books, 2011. Print.

Water for Elephants: A Novel by Sara Gruen. Algonquin Books, 2007. Print.

Beloved Animal Books - from the previous century/s

• All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot (1972) Also: All Things Bright and Beautiful (1973) All Things Wise and Wonderful (1976) by James Herriot
• Black Beauty by Anna Sewell (1877)
• Born Free by Joy Adamson (1960)
• Lad: A Dog by Albert Payson Terhune (1919)
• Old Yeller by Fred Gipson (1956)
• Sounder by William H. Armstrong (1972)
• The Black Stallion by Walter Farley (1941)
• The Call of the Wild by Jack London (1903)
• The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings (1938)
• Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls (1961)

Alternatives

In good hands...

My friend Linn, who lives in Oregon, called me the other day. We often email and share our lives via quick notes; and when the phone rang, I realized this call meant something. She needed a fresh perspective on a situation that was affecting her community of close friends that seemed unbearable. Within the last month, 6 out of 10 people she knew had been diagnosed with some form of cancer, and the prognosis on all of them was not good. The majority of the friends afflicted were younger than her – a few by a decade - and some had children they were raising. They had had blood tests, biopsies, MRIs, PET scans, CT scans, bones scans, and x-rays. Her friends had to be poked and prodded like a pound of meat being prepared for dinner. All of them had to eventually undergo an operation, radiation and/or chemotherapy. You can almost hear the specialists say, “Well, we need to cut this off here and then cook this with radiation and then we will see.” This is all very frightening, perhaps necessary and monumentally difficult. Surgery alone is a traumatic event that requires a nurturing environment to recover -- combine that with the radiation treatment and chemo and tons of testing procedures, and a person’s private world is completely compromised. Linn and I both knew this, and she wanted to approach her friends with something more than a casserole dish - even though bringing food is a huge expression of love and care.

After studying biology and chemistry in college, I began to understand aspects and principals in the universe that are magical. Photosynthesis is magic; cells in the human body are magic. Penicillin and polio vaccines can work like magic; likewise, touch therapy, meditation and prayer can work their magic. When Linn said, “Give me some ideas,” the first idea that came into my mind was CAM (complimentary alternative medicine). Now I am not talking hocus pocus, bibbity bobbity boo, or blood-letting here but rather additional ways to approach self-care. I am not talking about a cure that could instantaneously make the cancer go away. Chemo and surgery may not do that either. I am taking about a way to improve the quality of life and assist the patient to feel better. Even if it does not last forever – just feeling better can be a hint of the divine.

Just as there is a lid for every pot, there may be an alternative healing method or CAM that may work for you or someone you know. There are cancer patients that have felt that using visualization – picturing soldiers inside their body fighting the cancer – allowed them to feel they were actively involved in combating their disease. Acupuncture may not be your cup of tea yet experiencing reflexology may make you to feel as if you can walk on water. I know a woman who cannot tolerate massage – it is too invasive and too intimate for her - but she loves the safe healing touch of a Reiki practitioner.  The movement and breathing of thai chi and yoga practice can help strengthen the body and the immune system while bringing balance, calm and a sense of well being.

When my mom was stricken with brain cancer, she was swept onto what we called the treatment train. She was quickly railroaded into a surgery to remove the tumor (the accepted proposed treatment) by the oncologists. This surgery left my mom without her full mental capacities. She was not my mom anymore and she lived this way for a year before she died. In retrospect we feel that this surgery and the chemo treatments that followed may have given her time, but not necessarily quality time. If she really understood that the operation could take away her consciousness would she have chosen a different treatment plan? Everyone must make their own decision on how they would like to fight and battle their disease; it is a very difficult and personal journey. To make the right decisions, knowledge and understanding must be gained through education and research. Whatever the choice for each individual, it crucial to have the support and respect of family, friends and health care professionals.

Below is a list of many CAMs (complimentary and alternative medicines) and some may provide relief to someone in need. Included are web links for a quick definition and references from the National Institute of Health National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) - in alphabetic order:

• Acupuncture http://nccam.nih.gov/health/acupuncture
• Aroma therapy http://nccam.nih.gov/health/aromatherapy
• Ayruvedic Medicine http://nccam.nih.gov/health/ayurveda
• Chiropractic http://nccam.nih.gov/health/chiropractic
• Herbal remedies http://nccam.nih.gov/health/herbsataglance.htm  
• Homeopathy http://nccam.nih.gov/health/homeopathy
• Massage http://nccam.nih.gov/health/massage
• Meditation http://nccam.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm
• Naturopathy http://nccam.nih.gov/health/naturopathy
• Prayer (no need for a link)
• Reflexology http://www.reflexologyinstitute.com/reflex_def.php
• Relaxation Techniques http://nccam.nih.gov/health/stress/relaxation.htm
• Reiki http://nccam.nih.gov/health/reiki/introduction.htm
• Tai Chi http://nccam.nih.gov/health/taichi
• Theraputic Touch (no link at NIH NCCAM) – http://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2008/01/09/touch-therapy
• Traditional Chinese Medicine http://nccam.nih.gov/health/chinesemed
• Yoga http://nccam.nih.gov/health/yoga

References

http://nccam.nih.gov/
http://nccam.nih.gov/news/camstats
http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/ComplementaryandAlternativeMedicine/MindBodyandSpirit/tai-chi
http://www.mesothelioma.com/treatment/alternative/healing-and-therapeutic-touch-therapy.htm

I ♥ Valentine's Day

A while back, my daughter asked me, “Ma, what’s your favorite day to celebrate of all our celebration days?"

Without a moment’s hesitation, I answered, “Valentine’s Day, hands down,” or maybe I should have said hands up for that matter, or hands clapping excitedly with joy. I simply love the color red, the shape of hearts, chocolate in all its forms, and acknowledging love. Most people favor their birthday as their best celebration day; I tend to become embarrassed with any acute attention on my birthday. Christmas/Chanukah can be wonderful celebrations, if one doesn’t let the “present situation” or the Norman Rockwell illustrations of the perfect family gathering intimidate. July 4th is a sky-rocking summer fest at its best, but I have been known to fall asleep before the fireworks commence (in my latitude, it is 10 PM). I adore the spooky costumes, pumpkin carving, and autumnal glow of Halloween, but the heart ♥ day wins my first place vote.

Love and loving behavior, however, are not easy subjects to define. There are several love languages and interpretations of love, depending on your life experience. For me, cooking for people is one of my love languages. Also, there are numerous ways to think about love: romantic love, friendship love, family love, parental love,  acquaintance love, sexual love; love of God and religion, love for a coach, teacher, leader or mentor, love for art, animals, sports, nature, books, movies, food, drink, travel, career, and the list is endless. I really think it takes a lifetime to learn how to love well. Thirty years ago if you asked me to define love, I would have blathered on about sensual feelings quickly followed up by the endorphin-related proof that passionate love is the “real” thing. I learned the hard way that that is more a form of addiction. When one loses one’s fix or endorphin-maker (via a break-up), the mind-altering opiates come crashing down, causing severe withdrawals. One cannot, even after embarrassing begging, convince people to keep loving us when they want to flee. We are powerless over others. Dagnabbit.  My viewpoint and stance on what love is has changed a bit over the years with maturity.

I get that there has to be bona fide acceptance of the different and annoying aspects of the people we love in our lives - unconditional love. We have to embrace a spirit akin to “free to be you and me” and "live and let live." Martha Beck shared an essay in Oprah Magazine titled “How to Love More by Caring Less” – she realized through her practice there is a way to love people but not be attached to outcomes (this by the way comes in handy when raising teenagers). Furthermore, love has to feel lovely and warm and comfortable like your favorite blanket. Bumble is my blanket and my best friend.

Remember the movie "Love Story" - well the famous quote I disagree with, here is mine.

My mom, used to say, “If you want to know if a person loves you, check where their shoes are parked.”  If someone is in your life day in and day out, chances are they are comfortable with you, like being with you and most probably love you. Of course, I have a girlfriend who assured me that her musician boyfriend, who parked his shoes under her bed for a few years, didn’t love her as much as the roof she provided over his head with her paycheck. But one has to give a things a chance. Another favorite cliche my mom would oft repeat was, “Actions speak louder than words.” Beware the person who constantly says, “I love you, baby” but really is never there for you when you need them. How to find examples of love to honor Valentine's day?

Normally I would sit here constructing a lists of the top 10 best love quotes or love lines in a movie, song, or play; instead, I have decided to share with you five scenarios of memorable acts of love found in movies that are heart-thumping. It is not in the words of love spoken as much as in the actions of love expressed. In each of the scenes, a tender restraint is displayed, an expression of love that is worth noting.

Five memorable acts of love in a movie (in alphabetical order)

1. An Affair to Remember (1957). Scenario: Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr) misses her important date at the Empire State Building with the man she loves, Nickie Ferrante (Cary Grant), for a “very good reason.” Many months later she sees him at the ballet - both of them attending with other people. Terry does not want Nickie to know what happened to her the night she left him standing in the rain for hours, and she uses a quiet restraint to protect him from finding out her fate.  She cannot move from her seat, cannot offer any explanation, and the only exchange between them is a sorrowful, “Hello.”

2.  Bridges of Madison County (1995). Scenario: Francesca Johnson (Meryl Streep) has fallen passionately in love with a photographer, Robert Kincaid (Clint Eastwood), who came to her town to photograph the covered bridges that connect parts of her county. The story tells of those moments when two people connect deeply but are faced with a huge moral dilemma. She must make a choice: her new-found passion or her family life as it was before (consumed with details). Wearing a red dress with her suitcases packed to leave with her lover, Francesca battles internally and externally with this heart-wrenching decision. Her deep love of family wins and she stays loving her family for the remainder of her life. But in her will, she makes a final request to her children to allow her to honor her long-lost love in a special way.

3. Brief Encounter (1945). Scenario: Laura Jensen (Celia Johnson) and Dr. Alec Harvey (Trevor Howard) are both married but not to one another. When something gets into Laura’s eye on the platform of the train station, Dr. Harvey comes to her aid and helps her. A friendship develops between them and grows into a love that neither one expected. As the perfect British gentleman, Dr. Harvey gallantly takes a job out of the country to put an end their increasing desire for one another.  They have one last moment at the station to bid a sad farewell which is interrupted by a most obnoxious neighbor. It is a heart-wrenching scene – they will never see one another again and cannot give voice to their heartbreak. The scene that trumps this for exhibiting enormous love is when Laura returns home deeply grieving but resolved.  Laura’s husband, Fred Jensen (Cyril Raymond), senses something – perhaps the strings that were pulling at her heart are disappearing and he kneels close to her and says, “You’ve been a long way away. Thank you for coming back to me.” It is a moment of unconditional marital love and understanding.

4. Casablanca (1942). Scenario: Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), a saloon owner in Casablanca, Morocco, during WWII uses all his will and cunning to protect the woman he loves deeply, Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman), from harm by forcing her to get on a plane with her then-husband Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid) and leave Rick forever. It was - no matter how he tried to spin it - the right thing to do. Rick understood that the problems of the crazy world during WWII were far greater than the problems of three little people.

5. Sense and Sensibility (1995). Scenario: Elinor Dashwood (Emma Thompson), wise and elegant eldest sister, falls gently in love with Edward Ferrars (Hugh Grant), with whom she shares a deep friendship. As the propriety of the times dictate, Edward is promised to someone else and a good man must honor such promises.  Elinor, exhibiting enormous love, wishes him happiness and bestows her blessings on him and his fiancé. Elinor is a lady. She knows she must remain silent about her feelings rather than cause him any pain or confusion. Inside a part of her is dying yet she must go on with her love safely locked in her heart. There is, thankfully, a good ending to her grief.

There are hundreds more scenes in many more movies depicting love. What are some scenes in movies which exemplified real love to you?


References:

http://www.freetobefoundation.org/
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Love-Unconditionally-Martha-Becks-Advice/3
The New Seekers. "Free To Be...You and Me" By Stephen J. Lawrence (music) and Bruce Hart (lyrics),  1972, orig. Bell Records.  CD, VHS.
McCarey, Leo, dir. An Affair to Remember. Perf. Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corp., 1957. Film.
Eastwood, Clint, dir. The Bridges of Madison County. Perf. Clint Eastwood, and Meryl Streep. Warner Bros. Pictures, Inc., 1995. Film.
Lean, David, dir. Brief Encounter. Perf. Trevor Howard, and Celia Johnson. n/a, 1945. Film.
Curtiz, Michael, dir. Casablanca. Perf. Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. Warner Bros. Pictures, Inc., 1942. Film.
Lee, Ang, dir. Sense and Sensibility. Perf. Hugh Grant, and Emma Thompson. Sony Pictures Releasing, 1995. Film.
[All movie photos courtesy of Google Images]